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Ed's Homegoing
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Anticipation reigns in the heart of every Christian to one day reach their destination, to go back from whence they came, to live eternally in their Heavenly Home. Many times, one comes to the end of their journey as we know it on this earth, much too soon. His ways are not our ways, His decisions may not be ours, but always and forever.....His Peace can be ours in every situation we find ouselves in.

I must tell you about the two miracles the Lord gave Ed and myself before he went Home. I really wanted to leave this part out, however I am finding no rest from the Lord, so I am obliged to share them with you. I think it is all too common a problem to not mention.

When we accepted Christ, I thought all our marriage problems would be worked out. They were not. We provided a very happy home for our sons, and labored in God's vineyard as as a team as ministers of the Gospel. During the entire 25 years, I was terribly lonely and probably he was as well. I came to a place in my life when I decided I could not live in the situation any longer. Although many times, the healing touch of the Lord came into my life regarding my childhood and teenage years, there were still emotions that had not been healed. We divorced in 1992 and as a minister, he was forced to seek counseling, which changed him completely. He was finally at peace with some areas of his life. We could talk and share with each other for once in our lives. We were remarried in April 1993. Neither of us knew at the time of our renewed vows, that Ed was terminally ill.... but God did.

So the miracle of God to us may seem to have come a little late, but our marriage was healed in the 2 years we had left together. Five years have passed and with each passing year, I understand more clearly things concerning the problems we had in our marriage. I feel all the baggage I was carrying from my childhood and teenage years were great contributors to the problems we had.

There's usually not a day goes by when I do not thank God for the second miracle of allowing me come back to care for Ed during the last 2 years of his life. I would not have been able to cope with the fact that he had no one to care for him at this time in his life. The following is the story of Ed's struggle to live on this earth, finally losing the battle, only to be blessed to now be in his eternal home.

After our wedding, we moved to a church in Guntersville, Al, and I began noticing Ed didn't seem to enjoy the health he once had. He had always been a hard worker, a good organizer and stayed busy all the time, whereas now I began to notice all those traits sliding away. In November of 1993, he experienced a quadruple heart by pass and during the surgery, the Dr. discovered an uncommon and fatal lung disease. The prognosis of only having 2 years to live, proved to be true.

To be quite honest, there were times when the burden of caring for a terminally ill person, was extremely hard to bear. Only someone who has experienced this can understand. It was not only the physical part of it, which was very demanding, but also the heartache of seeing someone struggle so hard to remain on this earth. I was forced to get out of my self-centered person and give everything I had to make Ed's days as happy and bright as possible. I only had to ask God for all the love and caring I needed and He was there with all the help I needed.

Ed and I grew very close during those 2 years. We were together all the time and I wore my nurses' uniform as medically correct as I possibly could. It is an extremely scary thing to know you have someone's life in your hands. I often cried myself to sleep at night, seeing him struggle to live and knowing deep in my heart, he probably wouldn't. We never gave up hope that God would heal him, not until that last breath was taken. As I have stated before, no one knows the days and nights of a caregiver to a terminally ill person unless you have experienced it. The sadness is so overwhelming, but yet the joyous knowledge of them getting to go Home is always present as well.

Ed was not bedridden until 3 weeks before he died. That was such a blessing to him and me. He was not in pain at all, and did not suffer much, except for the fact that he could not do anything whatsoever. During the two years, I would prepare him for bed and then we'd say our prayers together, which was beautiful because it was one thing we could never do before. After he was bedridden he would continue to ask me to read his Bible to him; all the healing verses we still both believed in, and we continued to say our prayers. Hospice had been called in and we were feeding, bathing and seeing to all his needs.

The night of his Homegoing, I had not slept for 2 nights, and asked my son from Texas to sit with Ed just a little while so I could get some rest. I kissed Ed and told him I was going to get just a few winks of sleep. I, of course, fell into a deep sleep after not having slept for 2 days. It was 12:00 PM, when I awakened and felt as if the bed were surrounded by the fluttering of angels wings. In my spirit, I felt the urgent need to get up that I was needed in Ed's room. When I walked into the room, William had accidently fallen asleep on the couch and Ed, from what I had read in Hospice material, seemed to be dying. I awakened William and went to Ed's bedside. He was lucid and could talk. I held his hand and we exchanged our love for each other. I stood there for about 15 minutes and there was no change in him. William begged me to go lie back down, saying he would stand right there with his Dad. Sometimes, our hearts and minds do not run on the same course, because that's the way the Lord wants it I suppose. I knew in my mind that he was dying, but in my heart was refusing to believe it. After William's assurance that he would watch his Dad, I kissed Ed and told him I loved him once more and then in a robotic state, went to lay back down. It wasn't 5 minutes, when William came and told me it seemed as if Daddy had begun taking his last breaths. We were right by his bed side with him, when he was carried into the Presence of God by the angels which had surrounded his bed. I have learned later, that sometimes a patient and caregiver are so close that they won't pass on, until the caregiver is out of the room. And so it was with Ed.

If William had not accidently fallen asleep, God could not have performed another of His miracles by waking me out of a sound sleep twenty minutes before Ed went Home. I will be forever grateful to God for the few minutes I had with Ed.

Two weeks after Ed died, his Dad joined him in Heaven. I was at Mr. Ray's bedside when he began taking his last breaths as well. He did not know that Ed had died, so I leaned over and whispered to him, that he was going to be greeted by Ed when he arrived in Heaven. The Lord gave me the joy of being there for my sister-in-law Mary, to help her with Mr. Ray's Homegoing.

I know I'll see both of them again in Heaven some day.

Al. US